Who ALone But Christ

Thanks to a good friend of mine, Allan Joseph Tantoco, who lives in California with his wife Jane and their children, for this beautiful card message they sent during Maia’s wake.

It is in our times of deepest need that we find the depths to which the tenderness and grace of Christ can reach.

For who alone but Christ can bring us comfort and assurance with His all-embracing love.

Who alone but Christ can understand our sorrow and wipe away our tears.

Who alone but Christ can walk with us through that darkness and bring us into the light of a new dawn.

Who alone but Christ can give us hope and the certainty that one day we will understand more clearly the things that are mysteries to us now.

- Roy Lessin

Matthew 5:4

Our beloved Maia is home now.

She was laid to rest last November 11, 2008 at 9 o’clock in the morning.

As the new challenge beckons us to take the next necessary step which is to move on with hope and clinging to God’s promise, I can’t help but remember all the wonderful and kind-hearted persons that God sent our way to make sure that we have enough spiritual, emotional, moral and even financial support to help us go through this heart-breaking loss.

There were a lot of people who sent their well-meaning condolences and offers of help via SMS or international phone calls.

There were people who sacrificed their working time to rush to our side at the time that our son is under observation and to help us in all legal process for the return of Maia’s remains.

There were a lot of people, family members, relatives, close friends and even mere acquaintances, who took time to write personal emails sympathizing with us and re-assuring us of God’s divine plan for us.

There was a priest-friend who wrote such an uplifting email with promise of a special mass offering for our Maia in one of his Sunday masses.

There was my kuya who worked closely with us in arranging all needed proceedings for our wished cremation of our daughter upon arrival in Philippines.

There was countless number of people whom I have not met for ages surprisingly coming during the wake and offering condolences.

There was a Kfam brother who composed a very lovely poem and others who makes heart-warming dedications for her.

There were people from KerygmaFamily, Couples for Christ, Parish Lay Ministers, Knight of Columbus and Third Order of Carmelites who came in droves to pray.

There were people who cooked and served food and snacks to those who visit the wake.

There were family members who took turns and stayed up late to give Maia some company while we get some quick rest.

There were people who offered prayer petitions and mass offerings by sending us mass card intentions.

There were some people who brought flowers in white bouquet arrangement, colorful wreaths and single pots of orchids.

There were a lot of people who individually or collectively shared financial assistances.

There were some people who, by their own testimonial experience, have shared their pain of losing their love one in the past and how they recovered from it henceforth.

There were people who pray and wept with us as we bring Maia into her final resting place.

Their words, thoughts, actions and prayers mean a lot to us and were actually our source of comfort and inspiration during our time of bereavement.

And so to our dearest family members, relatives and friends, please accept my family’s sincerest thanks to each one of you. Truly, God has spoken to us by whispering his intense and pragmatic love through all of you. His presence is undeniable because of you all.

We feel so much blessed to have known you all and we believe that our Maia has touched your lives in a way that only you can ponder.

Nameless people I chose you all to be but you will never be faceless to us because you have touched our hearts beyond words.

God bless us all.

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” – Matthew 5:4

Para Sa Iyo, MAIA...

by Bro. Eric Baroquillo

Nagliwanag yaring buhay ng iyong ama at ina
Sampung kanilang tahana’t tinuturing na pamilya
Nang ika’y sa mundong ito malugod na nagpakita
Lumundag sa katuwaan pati na buong balana!

Tinuring kang munting anghel at sadya nga’ng nararapat
Palagi nga iyong binti kanilang nais masipat
Iyong ngiti ay nagdulot ligayang 'di masusukat
Sa langit ay walang patid lahat ay nagpasalamat!

Habang patuloy lumaki, sigla sa iyo ay namalas
Tunay nga'ng nakawiwili hagikgik mo at bulalas
Kapag ikaw ay naroon, paligid maaliwalas
Kasiyahan na dulot mo, tila ba'ng 'di magwawakas...

Kaya't sadyang kinagulat balitang aming natanggap
Pinahatid ng 'yong ama na ang puso'y naghihirap
Mahapding katotohanan, tila tadhanang masaklap
Ng maaga mo'ng pagbalik sa piling ng alapaap.

Bagama't kadahilanan nito'y mahirap maarok
Lalo pa't pag-aaruga sa iyo ay halos tutok
Batid namin na ang lahat pati mga pagtuturok
Patuloy nagpapatibay at sadya lamang pagsubok

Sa naiwan mo'ng tahanan kami ay nakikiisa
Kasama ang panalangin upang ito ay mabata
Itinuturing 'di iba at tayo'y isang pamilya
Angkin nating kalakasan ay pananampalataya!

Nagpapasalamat kami sa Amang nagbigay sa ‘yo
Bagama’t panandalian pamamalagi mo rito
Amin ding pinahahatid ang aming pagsusumamo
Muli kaming mahandugan ng ilan pa na tulad mo!

Kaya’t aming munting anghel saan ka man naroroon,
Minsan man lang ay sumulyap, iyong pansin ay matuon
Dito sa amin sa lupa patuloy na hinahamon,
Sa iba’t ibang pagsubok, patuloy na umaahon.

Paalam na muna, Maia, manatili ka’ng masaya!
Matatamis mo na ngiti, lagi naming alaala!
Pagdating ng takdang araw, muling magkikita-kita
Kung saan na walang hapis, magpakailanma’y ligaya!

Job 1:21

Her shrieking giggles that I hear every time I come home from work are gone forever.

Her heart-melting grins and smiles from out-of-the-blue will be sorely missed.

Her stress-busting music-triggered dances have reached the final performance.

Her spirit-nourishing embraces and kisses are what I will hopelessly long for to feel again.

The Lord has called back our angel into heaven in an abrupt and totally unexpected moment.

A high-fever on the eve of October 29 became the prelude of her unforeseen return to her Maker in the following daybreak.

The hurt that this painful reality has brought to my wife and I is beyond words and will surely linger until the grace of God finally succeeds in infusing His peace and joy back into our hearts. The time for us now is to grieve but with our fervent hope of being comforted especially during times when the agonizing longing to be with our Maia is strongest. The odds are stacked against us and the doors to doubt or bitterness are wide-open, yet all we can do is to pray that we are able to embrace with a loving trust whatever the Lord‘s ordained purpose is for this trial in our family. We do not pray for complete understanding but for a peaceful and heartfelt assurance that we will be fine, because we are not at the moment.

The Lord, however and in His infinite wisdom, has yet another surprise under His sleeve because as I read through the end topics of Max Lucado’s book entitled “Experiencing the Heart of Jesus”, the Lord has spoken His word through his writings and I can hear Him paraphrase them to me.

“Rowin, am I less of a good God for having called your beloved daughter?”

“Is my goodness lessened by the fact that your strongest plea, begging and bargaining as time expires on her received a “no” response from me?”

“My son, am I still deserving of your love and faithfulness for not letting you keep her so you can work to build all your dreams and aspirations for her?”

In all honesty, I would never know how to reply had He asked me those questions at the time I was tightly embracing the lifeless body of our daughter as I rush her to the nearest hospital only to find out eventually that she is indeed gone. I was moaning and crying in anguish and pain so I am not sure I would have even heard His voice. I was nearly oblivious of His presence while my wife transfers the remains of our daughter and I was scampering to have our eldest undergo a battery of diagnostics because he also have the same fever which actually manifested earlier than our daughter. Our anxieties are untold.

Lord, I am sorry for having doubted your grace during the critical span when you needed my firm conviction and decision to accept your plan for us no matter how painful it is.

Lord, I am sorry because for that particular moment, I almost forgot that you have suffered first for us before you invited us to share in your sufferings.

Lord, I am sorry if I did not make the choice to accept your grace which is sufficient for my family at that moment.

At this time, my wife’s spirit and mine are being replenished with the caring support of our families, relatives and friends whose promises of prayers are over-whelming.

At this moment, I can answer the Lord’s questions with a better perspective at the circumstances surrounding our situation.

No Lord, you are not less of a good God even after you called our daughter back and a brief 22-month life here on earth.

No Lord, your goodness is not lessened despite your firm “no” answer to my desperate prayers. Comprehending your purpose is not what I seek but contentment in your promise I must present to you.

And Yes Lord, you are still deserving of my love and faithfulness even if our dreams for our daughter vanished into nothingness.

Your grace is enough.

Blessed is Your name forever.

“But be happy that you are sharing in Christ’s sufferings so that you will be happy and full of joy when Christ comes again in glory.” – 1 Peter 4:13