Right Reason

“Amen, amen, I say to you, you are looking for me not because you saw signs but because you ate the loaves and were filled." John 6:26

Today's Gospel reading came a day after Jesus has miraculously fed around 5,000 persons. The people were all filled and they wanted more. Realizing that Jesus and his disciples were gone, they got into the other boats and went to the Capernaum to look for Jesus. Upon seeing Him, they asked when He arrived there.

Jesus knows what is in their hearts and replied to them that their motive for looking after Him is misplaced  because they are only after their physical well-being and welfare. They are over-looking a more and deeper message that Jesus is trying to bring into them - their eternal salvation through Him. The people was right in looking for Jesus but it was not for the right reason.

Seventeen years ago, my wife and I made our single most important vow that will determine our future life. We have invested time and prayers in over eight years before embarking on a lifetime journey of togetherness. Like all marriages, we have our own share of trials and difficulties but with God's guidance and blessings we are doing fine and we are still excited at what life has in store for us and our family.

In all modesty, I can claim that my decision to be married was right and for the right reason.

But it did help a lot that I did met the right person.

Happy Anniversary to my dearest and only love!

Christ is Christmas

Our family loves our gold fish.

We bought them last January for Zek’s 10^th birthday. Well, actually, both he and Aim really wanted a puppy, a cat and a pair of birds….and a horse..and a pig…and lots of chickens. In short, they dreamt of putting up a petting farm inside our 40 square meter flat. Heaven forbid that their dream come to fulfilment for I dread competing with a pig in my snoring-sleep and walking over those nose-wrenching organic wastes on our floor. Not to mention the angry petitioners from our neighbors who’d swear this weren’t their idea of city-living when they bought their flat-units.

Anyway, for almost a year now, we have the serene, quiet and well-behaved companionship of our fish in the safe confines of a fish-bowl. We clean it regularly. We placed white sand and a few rocks. We are adding some water plants now and then. Zek intently observes the fish behaviour and throws out random questions like – “Why do they keep opening their mouth as if they are talking me?” or “Don’t they get tired of swimming?” Aim, on the other hand, often fights his great urge to dip his small hand into the bowl and scare the wits out of them by creating a mini whirpool.

And as for me, I do marvel at how they waited like clockwork for their feeding time. They would make a surface-up group-swim everytime they see the green round container that holds their fish food. They would squish and squash around and get really excited.

Aren’t we also excited this time?

Well, we should be.

It’s barely a week to Christmas day.

The tell-tale signs have been showing the past weeks. Promo sales here and there. Heavy-traffic doubling in size and duration. Malls and houses decorated. Streetlights adorned with colourful flashing lights. People buying gifts. Parties and dinners being held left and right and “diet” is declared a fallacy. Airports at full-capacity due to arriving holiday-makers. Santa is a common sight around. People put up a better effort to be nice.

But here is a last-few-day reminder for us to be really excited for the right reason.

More than two-thousand years ago, our God of love has fulfilled His promise.

In a few days we will celebrate the incarnation of our only salvation.

So how should we show our genuine excitement?

On these days, we must share our joy and our blessings to our less-fortunate neighbors.

On these days, we must sing songs of joy to Him, receive Him through the sacraments and celebrate His Holy Eucharist.

On these days, we must find the elusive time to be quiet alone with Him and in the silence of our heart - talk to Him, thank Him, praise Him.

Jesus Christ, our God and Redeemer.

We love you.

Merry Christmas to all of us.

SLAP each other

Here is an unsolicited advice to all newly-wed couples out there.

SLAP each other.

Whaaaat?                                        

Yes, you must slap each other.

Before you howl and reply with condemnation letters to me, allow me to explain myself.

Slapping has always been unduly vilified, portrayed in bad undertones and often associated with violence.

But the fact is slapping can be a good and positive act or be an opportunity to respond with love.

For example, if your loved one is having moaning nightmares you should use gentle slapping to wake him/her up, right? Or if someone fainted and laid unconscious, slapping is a practical way to try to wake that person up before proceeding to other life-saving measures. In both cases, the action of slapping is meant to save.

For Catholics who are receiving the sacrament of Confirmation, the officiating bishop proceeds with the symbolical slapping to welcome the Christian into the army of God. It is the culmination of the profession of faith done during Baptism. In this case, slapping is like a wake-up call that we are “as true witnesses of Christ, more strictly obliged to spread and defend the faith by word and deed.” (CCC 1285)

Biblically speaking, slapping was also used by our Lord Jesus to preach about humility. “If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn your other cheek as well.” (Matthew 5:39). So the act itself maybe be negative but with humility and meekness rooted in the Lord, the response to the slapping can be liberating.

But to be more particular, allow me to break down my thoughts behind my “slapping” advice.

S – Serve each other.

Equality is not in both spouse having the same thing but in both spouse sharing what they have to make the other better.

L – Laugh together.

Laughing is always preceded by open communication and friendly discussions of family matters. A good movie laugh which means its date night.

A – Accept each other.

After marriage, according to some pundits, the masks are totally off and the gloves are absolutely on. Annoyances, irritants and shortcomings will happen and occur. But marital strain can be avoided by learning to accept each other’s frailties. As someone has beautifully put it, marriage is not a union between two perfect persons but two imperfect persons who loves and accept each other.

P – Pray together.

Every day and whatever situations you are both into, pray together. Pray as often as you can. Pray for each other and for others who are also part of your marriage life. Pray for God’s grace and mercy to accompany you both always in your chosen vocation of Holy Matrimony.     

So once again, newly-weds must SLAP each other.

May you have a blissful, peaceful and memorable journey of togetherness.

God bless po.       

                                                                                                                                                                 

(This article was inspired by the lovely wedding on a lovely October day of the lovely couple Merv and Kat. Congratulations to both of you!)     

Family Healing

(While browsing over my unfinished articles, I came across this one which I completed on Sept.21, 2015 but I never got to post due to an equally sudden event. My wife, who was supposedly eight weeks pregnant, experienced painful cramps the following day Sept.22 which persisted and ended with the diagnosis that our angel in her womb is already gone. We took comfort in knowing that we now have two angels in Heaven. Kuya Zek named her Marian and we now seek her intercession during our night time prayers.

2 Corinthians 4: 16-18

Therefore, we are not discouraged; rather, although our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this momentary light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to what is seen but to what is unseen; for what is seen is transitory, but what is unseen is eternal )

Si Lord Talaga

"The human heart plans the way, but the LORD directs the steps" - Proverbs 16:9

The suspense is over!

But before that allow me to give a one-liner description of my family life starting the year 2000 - it's "NPA" or No Permanent Address. I already lost count the times my wife and I changed residences mainly brought about by my OFW work destinations around China. We have moved and stayed in different districts in Shanghai, Shenzhen, Zhuhai and other Guangdong cities. We have transferred flats at least eight times during the span of 13 years. That means we were moving out at least every two years.

It was both a blessing and a challenge. A blessing because all those movements meant opportunities of meeting new friends and new locations to explore and tourist spots to visit. A challenge, well, because we have also to physically move all our stuffs with us each time. And believe me when I say our stuffs did not only multiply but increased exponentially once we started to have our children!

After a family tragedy some some six years ago and due to the poor health condition of our youngest (and an equally poor expat health-care system), we made the difficult decision to move back to Philippines and stay in our very own forty square meter flat unit within the metro city.

Our home was the fruit of five years of financial savvy and savings of my wife. It's small space is deceiving because it has a quadruple function feature - our classroom for Zek (who is a fifth-grade home-schooler), a play-area for our toddler Aim, a home-office for my part-time work and start-up business and of course, our cozy, though at times really chaotic, place of abode.

The past two years, we have put ourselves in a position to finally be accustomed and adjusted to our new home, our very own permanent address, so to speak. We have banded a 4-person think-thank how to scoop, organize, fix, organize, arrange, organize, decorate and, did I say organize our growing stuffs (Yes, sometimes I do feel that these non-living things have lives of their own and multiply at night). More so, we were really hoping that our small business will grow in time and that we can happily and permanently settle here.

Pero si Lord may iba pa pala na plano sa amin. Akala namin ay OK na kami sa aming sariling munting tahanan na kasya kaming apat. Akala naming pang matagalan na ito. Yun pala, isa na namang pang-samantala ito para sa amin.

This morning, our trepidations the past weeks has been put into rest.

My wife tested positive for our fourth baby!

We will have another angel !

Syempre, our main concern is the health of my wife (this will be her fourth caesarean delivery) and the health of new baby. Our Aim has G6PD thus he has lots of food and environmental limitations, which in turn, is causing him to catch serious ailments when exposed. Once again, we will solicit prayers from our prayer warriors that her pregnancy will get the pink-slip for both mother and baby.

Well, the second thing that comes to my mind, is how our maxed-out home space can still accommodate a new nursery for our coming baby. It's a challenge we will sort out in the coming weeks but the first thought is that we will need an increased space.

How?

We will leave that to our Lord because we always believe that God has been leading us everytime.

And where He will lead us, His grace will be enough.

He is always faithful (even if we are not).  

Si Lord talaga, na caught off-guard mo na naman kami.

Saan po tayo pupunta ngayon?

Excited na po kami.

"LORD, your mercy reaches to heaven; your fidelity, to the clouds." - Psalms 36:5  

A Beautiful Love Story

We all heard the story about the wife catching his husband sniffing and sighing on their sofa before midnight. Realizing that it was their 20th wedding anniversary the next day and touched by his random show of afffection, she asked him why he was emotional. The husband’s dead-panned answer was that he remembered his wife’s father’s threat of 20-year jail time when they eloped and how a free man he would have been starting the next day.

Kidding aside.

I admit I was misty-eyed as I witnessed last month a wedding of two persons in love. The bride looked stunning in her gown and the groom was all smiles, happiness uncontained. All of us were giggling at how the groom can’t seemed to wait for the ceremonial wedding kiss as he kept on moving his assertive self towards his bride. Hindi makapaghintay, sabi nga nila. And when the officiating priest finally gave the clearance for the groom’s exploding desire to kiss his bride, we had to cover all the children’s eyes to help maintain their innocence.

I was misty eyed because the wedding is not for a newlywed but for the renewal of vows for my uncle and aunt’s 50th golden wedding anniversary. Yes, my aunt was stunning in her golden wedding gown and my uncle was all smiles in his toothless state, yet there I was witnessing how “love conquered all”.

I know since childhood that my aunt has always been a devout Catholic and was actively involved in Church activities but my uncle has been known in our circle to be “more holy” as he religiously served in another gathering where he is the “kristo”. My aunt is such a sweet lady but uncle was more sweet especially when asking some budget for his next kristo game. She was a very good cook and my uncle always brought home the “fresh” chicken after the games. Fond childhood memories kept filling my mind.

Tita Conching is like a second mother to me and Tito Lonie has nothing but fatherly affection for me when I was a child. They lived simply in their house beside the river come high tide or low-tide. They have six children and a handful of trying times. One of their children turned his back on his Catholic faith and joined another sect. One got pregnant out of wed-lock and their youngest, a namesake of mine, died very young a year before his own wedding plan is to take place. These are the only known and visible ones but it does not take rocket science to know for certain that they have more challenges, a lot difficulties and tons hardships during their 50 years of being together.

In an age where a mere wrongly positioned toilet paper or a forgotten month-sary is enough grounds for separation, my uncle and aunt stood humbly and totally in love in front of us, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, to love and to cherish until death bring them apart.

Now that’s what my feel-good tears are for.

Congratulations to Tita Conching and Tito Lonie!

Mabuhay po kayo.

Saludo po kami sa inyo!

Ephesians 5:22-33

Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of his wife just as Christ is head of the church, he himself the savior of the body.As the church is subordinate to Christ, so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word, that he might present to himself the church in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. So [also] husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ does the church,because we are members of his body.“For this reason a man shall leave [his] father and [his] mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the church.In any case, each one of you should love his wife as himself, and the wife should respect her husband.

I Do

He was thin, dark and shy.

She was slender, petite and friendly.

He was nursing a rejected heart.

She was a nursing student with an open heart.

He caught a glimpse of her gorgeous smile.

She pretended he was far by a mile (at least that's how he felt then).

He found himself visiting her in the days that followed.

She cordially accepted his friendship, meek and mellow.

Their friendship and love, as the years went by, blossomed and grew.

Finally after eight years, they were married as they exchanged "I do".

Yes, that pretty much sums up how I met my one and only ex-girlfriend and now the mother of my beautiful and wonderful kids. Those eight years of getting to know each other's best and promising sides while deepening and enriching our spiritual lives has become our strong marital foundation.

Now that we are on our 15th year as husband and wife, what a colorful and memorable journey it has been so far! We have been through a lot of mostly grace-filled ups as well as a couple of challenging downs that included one life-changing and heart-breaking loss. We have lived mostly overseas and met great friends with similar interests in life, love and living. But now that we are back in our motherland, we are now making some adjustments after our long hiatus. Our eldest who was home-schooled ever since, has to bear the brunt of my at-times impatient teacher-parenting, while my wife undertakes the daily grinds of the house up-keeping and the delicate and stressful art of home-making.

Once I asked myself what would I be now if I haven't met my wife.

By God's grace and mercy, I do believe that I'd still be a striving-to-be-a-good person mainly due to the consequential upbringing of our parents. And just like most of everyone, I would still be in pursuit of a meaningful life in whatever direction I would feel the Lord is leading me into. I would be fine, I guess.

But God has no plans for a "fine" life for me. He is not interested with me just getting on with my life. He meant for me to be able to reach my full potential. He has planned great things for me ever since.

Indeed, with my wife by my side and our ever-growing kids, I am becoming a better person, a better husband and a better father as time goes on. I am far from being perfect but the journey with her makes it all worthwhile and worth remembering. She always give me her understanding and support when I am struggling. She constantly prays for our family's safety and well being. She is my best friend and a true confidant of my innermost fears and frailties and my co-conspirator in my achievements and successes.  

In my lifetime, immeasurable and profound joy will always be with me because my ever-loving wife is with me.

Happy anniversary, honey!

Cheers for more, much more, forevermore years!  

 I love you!

Yes, it's you ...

You're the one in my life I've known

From the start that it's you I'd spend forever with

So please hold on with me...

You know so well that we can't last a day

Without each other

You're all I have and you're all that's there

To keep me goin'.*

-Side A band (with a slight lyric revision from my side)