Remembering Tina

Tomorrow, October 23, 2007, is the 40th day since my beloved cousin Tina passed away.
She succumbed to Hi-Grade Burkitt's lymphoma Stage IV cancer nearly a year after it was first detected.
The first few months of her treatment has shown promising, almost miraculous recovery.
But after her 6th chemo-therapy session last June, her cancer made a very strong comeback and simply devoured whatever was left of her physical strength.

And so last September 13 and after weeks of untold agony and pain, she lovingly embraced God’s call for her to return home.
Our Tina is in heaven now.

Below is the heartfelt eulogy of her elder sister, Ate Angel, during the mass before her internment.


Chemo therapy……….. P 120,000 / session
Fentanyl patch…….…. P 1,181.75 / each
UST hospital room….. P 1,030 / night
Oncologist fee……….. P 25,000.00

My sister Tina……….. Priceless

Magandang hapon po sa inyong lahat.
Ako po si Ela Santos, panganay na anak ni Mila and Tony Santos.
Ate ni Tina.

Tina – November 6, 1972 HYPEN September 13, 2007

Hindi po ako nagkamali ng pagbasa. Ulitin ko po.

Tina – November 6, 1972 HYPEN September 13, 2007

May nabasa po ako na yong petsa na kapanganakan at kamatayan ay hindi importante. Ang importante ay yong HYPEN. O yong guhit sa gitna ng mga petsang ito. What have you done from the time you were born and the time you die.

So Tina would seem to be an ordinary person who lived an ordinary life.

Born 34 years and 10 months ago to a simple family. Pangalawa sa magkakapatid na apat. Dalawang babae. Dalawang lalake. Tatay ay nagtratrabaho sa ibang bansa. Kung umuwi isang buwan sa isang taon – kaming lahat pinanganak ng April except for Tina who was born in November. Ang kwento po dyan, si tatay naiba ng buwan ng pag-uwi noong panahon na yon kaya naiba ang birthday nya sa amin.

Tina’s childhood is colourful to the point na ulit-ulit pinagkwentuhan. It has become a part of a collection of family anecdotes. Noong maliit sya pag may tantrums sya, she will take her clothes off and hid under the bed to get her way. Very strong willed child.

Minsan din natinik sya ng kumakain ng isda. Yong 2 tita ko na nag-aalaga sa kanya ay tarantang-taranta. Naroong humuli ng pusa at ipahilot ang leeg ni Tina. Iyak ng iyak si Tina at sabi nya, MAMATAY NA AKO, BILI NYO AKO NG ROYAL TRUE ORANGE!

Minsan dumalaw kami sa mga kamag-anak namin sa Bicol. Binigyan sya ng alagaing manok ng tyahin ni Nanay. Tuwang-tuwa sya sa manok na yon. Umuwi kami pabalik ng Malolos. Noong mga panahon na yon di pa uso ang Jollibee so may baon kami na luto na nakabalot sa dahon ng saging. Noong tanghalian na, binuksan ni nanay yong baon naming. Aba fried chicken. Di tuwa namin. Kain si Tina. Tapos naalala nya yong manok nya. Sabi nya, nay saan manok ko? Nay said something like, ayan pinirito ko na. So habang kumakain ng manok, Bakit mo niluto manok ko nay?

My memory of Tina is many. I am one of the few who have known her the longest here. My two aunties who came home with me witness her birth. Nay had a c-section kasi suhi sya. And now these two aunties have a come to a full circle. Kasama rin sila namin to say goodbye to Tina today.

Noong maliit pa po kami, we use to receive 2 pesos each for baon at pamasahe. Hindi po naming yon ginagasta for pamasahe, binibili naming ng halo-halo. Then we walked home. We take a shortcut sa taniman ng mga dayap. And I can smell the dayap. The dayap trees were up to our heads most of the time. Hawak kamay po kami na naglalakad. Di ko na maalala yong pinag-uusapan naming. Basta naaalala ko, malamig ang hangin and I have my sister for company those lazy afternoons after school. She was my sister, but she was my friend too.

We never thought cancer would happen to us. Nangyayari sa telenovela, sa ibang tao pero hindi sa amin.
But hindi pala kami exempted. We are among the privileged ones.

The stories have been shared during the wake. The amount of help we have received, hindi naming mabilang. On behalf of my parents and my brothers, maraming, maraming salamat. Hindi na po naming sasabihin kung sino-sino kayo. You are the recipient of the fruits of the grace of cancer.

I would like to honor my parents. Tatay and nanay, isinasabuhay nyo po ang pinangako nyo noong ikasal kayo. Sa hirap at ginhawa. Nairaos natin si Tina dahil pader naming kayong sinasandalan. We are lucky to have you. Sa ngalan ni Tina, salamat sa inyong dalawa. Sa aking mga kapatid na lalake, apat pa rin tayo. She loved you more than you two would know.

Lives have been touched and changed by one brave ordinary soul who lived an ordinary life.

Sabi po ng kaibigan ko who lost both parents to cancer … “Cancer is a win – win situation. Kapag gumaling ka, God has granted you a miracle. If you die, you go to heaven.

We got the last gift of cancer.
Cancer has made an angel out of Tina.

Remember by Christina Rossetti

Remember me when I am gone away,

Gone far away into the silent land;

When you can no more hold me by the hand,

Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.

Remember me when no more day by day

You tell me of our future that you planned:

Only remember me; you understand

It will be late to counsel then or pray.

Yet if you should forget me for a while

Flying Kites

It was one Saturday lazy afternoon when my wife and I decided to bring the kids out for a stroll in the nearby park famous for its vast land area and one-stop recreational and leisure spot hosting a lot of kiddie rides, walk pathways, outdoor-steel basic exercise equipments, performance stages and a kite-flying quadrangle with trimmed green grasses that dual as picnic ground.

As my son Zek holds and marvels at our kite that flies steadily around 50m above us, two adult men caught my attention as they each attempt to fly their kites in stark and contrasting ways. The former was running in every direction and pulling his kite with all his might to no avail because the kite always falls back to the ground at some point. The latter was standing still and as soon as he felt the strong gust of wind he immediately changed his position in opposite direction of the wind. One swift push up of his kite and it was flying in no time.

Two lessons came to my mind.

Firstly, ignorance or inexperience is a hindrance but a self-righteous pride can spell disaster in our lives. The first man was eager-beaver to make the kite rise and exerted much effort without really even asking other nearby kite-flyers or, at the very least, looking around on how to do it properly. He ran, and ran, and ran until he was totally exhausted and needless to say, humiliated in front of the many amused people who witnessed his futile efforts. The second man knew how to do it because he learned it earlier from somebody else either by asking or, at the very least, by mere observation of how to do it. Oftentimes, we would rather fall flat on our face later than to humble ourselves in the beginning.

Children have parents.
Students have teachers.
Workers have supervisors.
Apprentices have mentors.
Trainees have coaches.
Married couples have each other.
Parishioners have priest.
The list goes on.

May we have the humility to ask from those whom we trust and the open-mind to see the wisdom in other peoples’ counsel.

Secondly, kites fly and rise higher against wind. Adversity makes us stronger. Trials refine our spirits. Tribulations make us better persons. Suffering makes us stronger. Make calculations aimed at avoiding problems but never treat failure as end-of-the-line situations rather as stepping stones to improve ourselves.

There is one earthly goal for most of us – to grow in faith, hope and love.
The right attitude for learning and responding to challenges can very well determine how high our life can reach and fly.