It's All In Your Hands

Many centuries ago, two teenage boys decided to play trick on one of the wise old philosopher who wandered about the Agora, or market place, of ancient Athens. They captured a tiny bird. Afterwards, they approached the wise old man as one of them held the bird in his hands behind his back where the old man can’t see it. Then approaching the old man he said,”Wise man of Athens, I have in my hands a bird. Tell me, is it dead or is it alive?”

If the old man said,”Dead,” the boy would open his hands and let the bird fly away, proving the old man wrong. If, on the other hand, he said,”Alive,” then crunch! The boy would squeeze the little bird to death and then hold it up. They were quite certain that they could make a fool of him either way.

“I have a bird in my hands. Tell us, wise man, is it dead or alive?” the two boys challenged the old man. By noww a crowd had gathered to watch this confrontation of wisdom and foolishness.

The old man thought pensively for a moment, then looking into the face of the lad holding the bird replied,”I know not whether the bord is dead or alive, but this I know: Its life is in your hands.”   (taken from Harold J. Sala’s “The Parent Map: Navigating the Way to Raising Great Kids”)

Dear co-parents, our responsibility to bring up our children is so tremendous it could mean their success or “demise” in this troubled world. It is even “non-transferrable” (hint: school, teacher, spiritual counselor) and “non-delayable” (hint: when he/she is seven or when he/she becomes a teen). It’s a daily nitty-gritty-grinding head-butting decision to be the “best” parents we can be to their impressionable minds.

Sounds scary? Not if we seek daily God’s grace and strength for our family journey. After all, it is God’s divine plan that our children become “our” children, so His grace is sufficient for each one of us. And whatever we lacked or over-looked, we still can pray that God blesses the seeds of love we have sown in their hearts to overcome those.

God bless us families.

A Question of Essential

In the 2011 comedy movie “The Big Year”, the three main protagonists Bostick, Brad and Stu have chosen the same year to go for their “big year” in which they will have to travel the whole of North America trying to find and name the most bird species in a given calendar year. They share the same passion and drive to meet their goal. But their commonality ends there. Bostick who was the previous year’s record holder of 732 birds, was also on his second marriage wherein they are trying to conceive their baby. His bird passion turned into his obsession that led to the demise of his relationship. Brad, a struggling “underachiever” in the eyes of his father, turned his passion to improving his father-son relationship as well as finally meeting the girl of his dream during his course of birding. Stu, already successful as a CEO of his own company, used his passion to fulfill his dream, to gain friendship and to appreciate more his existing and ultimate passion - his family.

Do not let love and fidelity forsake you;

bind them around your neck;

write them on the tablet of your heart. (Proverbs 3:3)

We all have personal ambitions, individual passion, private pursuits or our own special goal that we believe can bring fulfillment and a sense of accomplishment. However, the question that we need to answer as well is - at what price are we willing to achieve that goal? Is our personal dream indispensable with what is truly essential – to seek first the Kingdom of God?

It is lamentable to note that a lot of powerful, famous, successful and influential people in world are also at a loss in their personal and spiritual lives. Powerful people in the government succumb to greed and corruption. Famous people battle vices and failed marriages. Successful career and business people are highly-risked to be alienated from their own family members because of lots of unspent times with them. Influential people suffers from secret struggles when the camera if off and they are alone.

All because their pursuits of personal ambition is not linked to the pursuit of heavenly rendition.

Before they know it.

The powerful is disgraced.

The famous are unfulfilled.

The successful has failed.

The influential is shamed.

And at deathbed, the emotional regrets out-pour with the slimmest chance of even being heard.

Sad but true.

Seventy is the sum of our years,

or eighty, if we are strong;

Most of them are toil and sorrow;

they pass quickly, and we are gone. (Psalm 90:10)

(Remarks: The world's one of the well-admired funnyman, Robin Williams allegedly took his own life after years of battling clinical depression. It is a mental ailment that is not related to his personal beliefs and life-goals but still leaves a sad mark in his grief-stricken family members. He was also a meaningful and funny movie hero to me. Zek and I love his "RV" movie about family vacation. Rest in peace, Mr. Robin Williams.) 

A Beautiful Love Story

We all heard the story about the wife catching his husband sniffing and sighing on their sofa before midnight. Realizing that it was their 20th wedding anniversary the next day and touched by his random show of afffection, she asked him why he was emotional. The husband’s dead-panned answer was that he remembered his wife’s father’s threat of 20-year jail time when they eloped and how a free man he would have been starting the next day.

Kidding aside.

I admit I was misty-eyed as I witnessed last month a wedding of two persons in love. The bride looked stunning in her gown and the groom was all smiles, happiness uncontained. All of us were giggling at how the groom can’t seemed to wait for the ceremonial wedding kiss as he kept on moving his assertive self towards his bride. Hindi makapaghintay, sabi nga nila. And when the officiating priest finally gave the clearance for the groom’s exploding desire to kiss his bride, we had to cover all the children’s eyes to help maintain their innocence.

I was misty eyed because the wedding is not for a newlywed but for the renewal of vows for my uncle and aunt’s 50th golden wedding anniversary. Yes, my aunt was stunning in her golden wedding gown and my uncle was all smiles in his toothless state, yet there I was witnessing how “love conquered all”.

I know since childhood that my aunt has always been a devout Catholic and was actively involved in Church activities but my uncle has been known in our circle to be “more holy” as he religiously served in another gathering where he is the “kristo”. My aunt is such a sweet lady but uncle was more sweet especially when asking some budget for his next kristo game. She was a very good cook and my uncle always brought home the “fresh” chicken after the games. Fond childhood memories kept filling my mind.

Tita Conching is like a second mother to me and Tito Lonie has nothing but fatherly affection for me when I was a child. They lived simply in their house beside the river come high tide or low-tide. They have six children and a handful of trying times. One of their children turned his back on his Catholic faith and joined another sect. One got pregnant out of wed-lock and their youngest, a namesake of mine, died very young a year before his own wedding plan is to take place. These are the only known and visible ones but it does not take rocket science to know for certain that they have more challenges, a lot difficulties and tons hardships during their 50 years of being together.

In an age where a mere wrongly positioned toilet paper or a forgotten month-sary is enough grounds for separation, my uncle and aunt stood humbly and totally in love in front of us, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, to love and to cherish until death bring them apart.

Now that’s what my feel-good tears are for.

Congratulations to Tita Conching and Tito Lonie!

Mabuhay po kayo.

Saludo po kami sa inyo!

Ephesians 5:22-33

Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of his wife just as Christ is head of the church, he himself the savior of the body.As the church is subordinate to Christ, so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word, that he might present to himself the church in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. So [also] husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ does the church,because we are members of his body.“For this reason a man shall leave [his] father and [his] mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the church.In any case, each one of you should love his wife as himself, and the wife should respect her husband.

Pencil Parable

Pencil Parable: Your goodness or true-worth is within.

She was short, wrinkly-skin and old. She was a foreigner without material wealth and lived in one of desolately poor part of India. But despite falling way below the wordly standard of success, she is mostly revered and admired by a lot of people and genuinely loved by those whose lives she has touched. Her beauty transcended outward appearance because of her inner beauty that vowed wholehearted free service to the poorest of the poor. 

Her name was Mother Teresa.

Pencil Parable: You will need to be sharpened as you go through life.

He supported and fought for the end of apartheid. He was jailed for 27 years where he experienced all sorts of racial abuse coming from his white jail wardens. He persevered and accomplished his dream of a free African people by winning and becoming the first black president of South Africa. After his victory, he once again fought for peace and racial reconcilliation with their oppressors.

His name was Nelson Mandela

Pencil Parable: You will be in someone else’s hand.

It was the time of the pre-Nazi occupation of Europe and this young man was required to undergo military training against his will. Instead, he performed with various theaters where he hone his multi-language skills. As soon as the Germans occupied his homeland, he worked as messenger, quarry laborer, chemical factory worker because of threats of Germany deportation. Three years after and while the war was still on-going, he decided to enter priesthood and offered his life to God’s call to serve. And by all means, he did serve long and served well as the 264th pope.

His name was Karol Josef Wojtyla or Pope John Paul II

Pencil Parable: You are expected to leave your mark.

He lived at the time of oppressive British-rule. His nationalism and drive for their country’s self-rule has spurred non-violent protests and actions throughout their land that reverberated around the world. His truth-based peaceful civil disobedience despite the constant threat of jail and violence has become hallmark battle-cries of colonized and oppressed people and nations. Our very own People Power that brought down a tyrant dictator is without an iota of doubt, a replication of his initiative.

His name is Mahatma Gandhi.

In our own small everyday ways, we too can be a "pencil" if we believe in our inner goodness and persevere regardless of the trials and difficulties.

And if we do allow God to use our small-ness for His will, then the mark we will leave will surely lead others to our Creator.

God bless. 

References:

1. Parable of the Pencil – from James Feehan as shared in We Celebrate God’s Love

2. Biography.com for excerpts on the lives of Mahatma Gandi, Nelson Mandela, Pope John Paul II and Mother Teresa.