2012/06/30

To React or To Respond

There was a priest who brought along a 10-kg sack of rice into his Sunday mass. Right before he started the Eucharistic celebration, he looked at all the people in front and saw a medium-built man standing at the left side of church. He approached the man and requested him to carry the sack of rice during the mass and never to put it down.

The mass started and once in a while, the priest would glanced at the man and saw his uneasiness. The man tried to shift the lifting position of the sack a number of times. He was starting to be clearly burdened by it. And as much as he tried to hide his annoyance, his facial expressions betrayed him.

When it was time for the homily, the priest paused and looked at the man who is now clearly sweating and distracted. He called up the man and thanked him for his efforts and obedience. The priest, then, gestured for a mother and child who were sitting on the right side of the church, to come up the altar as well and stand beside the man. The mother, standing at a shoulder level beside the man, is seen to be carrying her sleeping child from the start of the mass. And when the priest asked her about her child’s weight, she said he was around 12kg.

The priest then shared his observations between the man and the mother who both carried “weights” at the same time yet have behaved in totally opposite manner. He pointed out the uneasiness and burdened expressions from the man while the mother, with an actually heavier load, has shown nothing but concern to her child as she carried her in one arm and fanning her with the other. She would pause at times to wipe away any sweat from her child’s head and back. But she never has shown discomfort at anytime. She exuded tranquility and love.

As Christians, we do know that we will always be asked to carry our crosses in our lives. This can be in different forms of personal trial or adversity –a rumor-mongering neighbor, a good-for-nothing lazy office-mate, a routinely boring job, same old household chores day in and day out, a difficult relationship that seems to be going nowhere, a disobedient child, a physical ailment that hinders you to pursue your life-long dreams, an organization or business in total disarray, a bumper-to-bumper traffic jam and other discomforting and life-draining situations. And in these times of distressing or annoying burden, we have only two options. One is to react with uneasiness and agitation towards that burden and , at times, even towards the Lord. The other one is to respond with love and help ourselves manage the situation in a more Christ-like manner.

Without love, our burden becomes a real burden.
With love, our burden becomes an opportunity to love – to love our neighbors and our office-mates, our job and our chores, our loved ones and even ourselves.

Yes, the reflective question of “What would Jesus do in my situation?” is still a powerful and effective guideline for us because the answer still holds true.
Jesus will always respond with love. 

We should do as well.
God bless.

2012/06/06

A Father's Hug

My father was not the expressive, sentimental type. He was not the hugging, “I love you” kind of a guy.

After I read these opening lines in Bro. Bro Sanchez' book "You can make your life beautiful", I knew I found the best description for my own father as well.

I recalled that, as a young boy, he once tried to express his presence when he brought me to a movie house to watch “Markang Bungo” starring Lito Lapid (until now I can’t even recall what the story of that movie is). In another instance I remember, he needed to drive his boss to Pangasinan and he let me tag along with him. When we were headed home, we never had a conversation except when he asked me if I was hungry.

He was a distant father, so to speak.

And so I grew up with a somewhat timid feeling about him. In my young mind, I felt that he dislikes me and sometimes I even (unintentionally) sensed that he wanted to disown me. As a growing kid, I needed a father that will guide me through the enormous curiosity that surrounds me. But he just was not there, or maybe physically he was but his presence was missing.

On May 2002, I was 19 years old then and during school break, I visited them in the bukid (riceland) where my father and mother were staying. They were having their habitual get-together drinking session with his friends. They normally do this after finishing their farming activity for the day.

I sat across my father. He looked at me with so much sadness in his eyes and I gazed back at him. Without any clue, I saw his eyes starting to get misty so I went beside him. And then, he did something that he never did in my entire life.

He raised his hands towards me.
Then he gave me a hug.
He hugged me so tightly and both of our eyes were filled with tears.

I never felt as secure and comfortable before that moment with my father and it was the best moment that had happened to me in my 19 years of wondering and pondering with my life.

It was the happiest time I spent with him and my world seemed to stop spinning and I never wanted to that moment to end. I have waited long years to feel his presence. I can’t believe that my father gave me a hug. He finally expressed unconditionally that he loves me. 

My new-found happiness, though, was short-lived because I never thought he was already bidding farewell to me then.

On June 16, 2002, after two weeks, he died in a motorcycle accident. My emotions were running wild inside me. I was both grieving and joyful. Joyful because for the first time, my tough, unsentimental father gave me a hug. Grieving because it was the last hug I’ll ever get from him. And I muttered to myself “Pang, we should have done that long time ago”.

That moment changed my life forever.

Hug someone today while there’s time. If you are a father or mother, hug your children, If you are a husband or wife, hug your spouse. If you have siblings, hug your them. If you have a good friend, hug him/her.

To hug is to express your love and love must be expressed well to be felt.

God bless.


posted with permission from original writer Mr. Exequiel Raguini