Thanksgiving Prayer

Dear Lord,

This day is sentimentally close to my wife’s heart and mine. It is our 10th wedding anniversary.

About eight months ago, I could not hide my excitement for this day to come. My wife and I have been looking forward to it and have actually laid out some ideas and schemes for this most important occasion in our marriage. I kept on picturing in my mind our Zek and our would-have-been 2-year old Maia walking (or in all likelihood, running and racing against each other) on the church aisle in front of us as we slowly march toward the priest for our renewal of marital vows. I smiled at the thought of how our 30-minute simple ceremony would turn to more than an hour with constant interruptions from our gorgeously angelic daughter and charming and well-groomed son who keeps on pushing and shoving each other like frantic school-children jostling for position to be first in getting the last free cotton candy of the day.

I imagined highlighting our celebration by heading into an overnight beach outing with close family members and we would sit down around bone-fire cooking hotdogs and marsh-mallows as all the Santos kids run back and forth with all their high-pitched voices and laughters.

That day is supposed to be today. I have fully come into terms that it was not meant to be. My dream for this day is not what you have been planning for us after all.

Our daughter Maia left us last October 2008 and we have been spending the last few months just trying to heal our wounded selves and spirits. We were not able to make any plans or preparations on how we would celebrate it. We are living on a day to day basis.

Sadly for me today, my wife is in Philippines while I am still in China because of work commitments and I can only be with her and Zek after two more weeks.

But you have been, you are, and you will always be good and kind to me and my family. Though my wife and I can not perfectly grasp the beauty behind the pain inside us, we believe we are under your protection and love even during this lonely point of our lives.

I am sure you know what I mean. Today is Black Saturday not by mere calendar accident only.

You wanted to assure us that we will fully heal and recover to move on and that our pain pales in comparison to what you have been through. All the derogatory insinuations, mob affront, physical tortures finally taking their toll on your weary and abused body that led to your ultimate death. All of these happened under the truth that you are doing it for them, for us, in order for us to gain back entry into your heavenly kingdom. You suffered because you love us.

You experienced the worst possible pain by a human and by God for that matter.

You more than understand our pain.

Thank you Lord, for allowing my wife and I to share in your pain of loving and losing briefly.

Tomorrow is Easter Sunday.

You will be resurrected and be triumphantly alive.

Death and eternal condemnation will be conquered.

You will breathe to your disciples the Holy Spirit who is to be our companion until the end of time.

We will eventually have our own Easter moment in your appointed time. Like a clay pot that needed to was swirled-formed and now being furnace-dried, we are a work in progress and our Maia, even in her short life, has lived a full life that is forever part of our formation into your likeness.

Please kiss and embrace our Maia for us.

Thank you for your mysterious yet unconditional and unequivocal love for us.

We love you. Amen.

Your children,

Rowin and Chie